Zumers — people born roughly between 1997 and 2012 — are the first generation that doesn’t remember a world without the internet. For them, a smartphone isn’t a tool, but an extension of themselves. Social media isn’t entertainment, but a habitat. And dating is no exception to this rule.
But it would be a mistake to think that the digital generation is looking for something fundamentally different in relationships. Zoomers want the same things everyone before them wanted: real intimacy, understanding, and a person with whom they can be themselves. They just use different tools to find it — and have a different approach to the search as well.
Where previous generations went to a disco or a student club, a Zumer opens an app. Where people used to meet through mutual friends, they now meet through algorithms and recommendations. This isn’t better or worse. It’s simply a different reality, with its own rules, opportunities, and pitfalls.
And to understand how young people today find love and friendship, we need to figure out exactly what they’re looking for and why traditional formats no longer fully satisfy them.
What Gen Zers Are Really Looking For
Contrary to the common myth that young people don’t want serious relationships, research suggests the opposite. Gen Zers are one of the most self-aware generations when it comes to intimacy. They think a lot about what kind of relationships they need. They know how to articulate their boundaries and expectations. And they are far less likely to tolerate what doesn’t suit them — simply because “that’s the way it’s done”.
What young people prioritize when looking for a partner or friend:
- Emotional honesty. Zoomers value openness and the ability to talk about feelings. Insincerity and games of “who will text first” wear them out.
- Shared values. Not just similar interests, but alignment on what truly matters: attitudes toward the world, toward people, toward the future.
- Respect for personal space. Closeness — yes, but without losing oneself in the other. Zoomers value autonomy—their own and others.
- Authenticity. No fake personas. Better to be quirky but real than perfect but plastic.
- Quick connection. Long, formal introductions aren’t for them. They want to know right away: is this the one or not?
It is precisely this last point that explains why traditional dating apps, with their profiles and endless swipes, are gradually losing ground among the younger audience. The profile format is too slow, too artificial, too far removed from real-life interaction.
Why dating apps disappoint Gen Z
Dating apps were created with good intentions — to simplify the search for a partner. And at one point, they succeeded. But today, young users are increasingly saying the same thing: they’re tired of swiping.
There are several reasons. First — choice overload. When there are thousands of profiles, the brain stops perceiving each one as a real person. A sorting mode kicks in: suitable—not suitable, scroll on. This is exhausting and draining.
Second — the disconnect between the profile and reality. The best photos, a carefully crafted description, witty answers to stock questions. All of this is marketing, not a person. And when it comes to a real-life meeting, it often turns out that expectations and reality don’t quite match up.
Third — conversations that go nowhere. You can exchange messages for weeks without ever feeling anything genuine. And then the conversation just fizzles out — and neither person ever really got to know the other.
Gen Zers, who grew up in a culture of instant feedback, have a hard time with this drawn-out process. They need real-life contact — and they look for it wherever they can find it.
Online video chats: why young people choose the live screen
It’s no surprise that videochats are experiencing a real renaissance among young audiences. The format meets several key needs of Zoomers at once.
Speed. You don’t have to spend days messaging back and forth to figure out if you’re interested in someone. Five minutes of a video call reveal more than fifty chat messages.
Authenticity. It’s hard to “stage” a video call. A person appears exactly as they are: with natural facial expressions, a real voice, and spontaneous reactions. This is precisely what a generation that has a keen sense of insincerity values.
Safety. The video format allows you to get to know someone without revealing personal information or meeting in person until trust has been established. For Zoomers, who are well aware of the risks of the internet, this is important.
Camsurf is one of the most popular video platforms, having won over a young audience worldwide. The service appeals for its accessibility and simplicity: no complicated registration, no lengthy profiles. Just click — and you’re chatting with a real person. Camsurf is especially valued for its international audience: here you can easily meet someone from another country, practice a language, or simply learn how peers on the other side of the globe live. For Zoomers interested in the world beyond their usual circle, this is a real find.
Those looking for a safer environment with an emphasis on the quality of communication should check out CooMeet.chat. This service was created with the understanding that a random video call can be the start of something real — if users are provided with comfort and safety. This Camsurf adult alternative features well-thought-out safety mechanisms, and the format itself encourages more open dialogue. It’s no surprise that it’s on platforms like these that young people often find not just a conversation partner for the evening, but someone they want to keep talking to.
Both services offer what’s so lacking in traditional apps: lively, spontaneous, honest connection — right here, right now.
How Zoomers Build Relationships in the Digital Age
For Zoomers, meeting someone online isn’t the end goal — it’s just the starting point. From there, things develop differently for everyone, but a few common patterns emerge.
Young people aren’t in a hurry to take an online connection offline. First comes lots of conversation. Video calls, voice messages, sharing memes and music. This isn’t cowardice or immaturity. It’s a way to get to know someone before meeting — so that when the time finally comes, it doesn’t feel like you’re seeing a stranger.
Zumers also have a much more relaxed attitude toward relationship formats. Friendship that gradually turns into something more. Long-distance romance. Intimacy without immediate commitments. They’re less inclined to force their feelings into rigid frameworks—and that’s perhaps one of their strengths.
At the same time, the younger generation reacts strongly to disrespect and dishonesty. If someone disappears without explanation, acts inconsistently, or clearly presents themselves as someone they’re not — a Zoomer will walk away. Without lingering regrets or attempts to “fix” what didn’t work from the start.
Love isn’t outdated — some ways of seeking it are
The Zumer generation is often criticized for superficiality and an inability to form deep connections. But this is unfair. Young people seek intimacy no less than their parents do. They simply seek it differently — through a screen, through a video call, through a live conversation with a stranger who suddenly turns out to be one of their own.
Technology hasn’t killed romance. It has given it new forms. And those who know how to use these forms consciously — not as a showcase for self-presentation, but as a space for genuine connection — find what they’re looking for.
Love still begins with a conversation. It’s just that now this conversation increasingly takes place through a screen. And there’s nothing wrong with that — as long as there are two real people on the other side of the screen, ready to be honest with each other.
